


you can't fly on dinosaurs, bucky

by scorpionbythesea



Series: Pretty spry for older guys [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 18:44:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1480108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpionbythesea/pseuds/scorpionbythesea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the tumblr post by embracingthemadness and the tag that followed:</p><p>    steve and bucky making up random stories from their past and convincing the other avengers that it actually happened (◡‿◡✿)<br/>#there’s no way you guys fought nazi dinosaurs</p>
            </blockquote>





	you can't fly on dinosaurs, bucky

“There’s no way you guys fought Nazi dinosaurs” Clint says, perched on the edge of his seat, knees drawn up to his body.

From where he’s preparing his coffee, Steve pauses, throwing his teammate a curious look over his shoulder. “Excuse me,” he says, though he has a fair idea of where this is headed, “what are you talking about?”

Clint gestures at the sofa, where Bucky is sprawled: one leg over the armrest, the other planted firmly on the floor, one arm under his head, the other gripping into the back pillows. It looks distinctly uncomfortable, but after a 14-hour mission, it’s no surprise that upon arrival at Stark tower, most of the team had collapsed upon the nearest surface and refused to move. Bucky now angles his head to look at Steve and smiles.

“While you were catnapping in the quinjet on the way here, Clint and Nat were bugging me for more stories of our fantastic exploits way back when.” There is a noise of protest, and Steve sees Natasha’s arm stretch into view, hand waving around. “I object to that,” she says woozily, hand finally ending up pointing directly at Clint. Steve realizes she’s curled up behind Clint, head half buried under pillows. “Alright,” Bucky allows, “so it was more Clint bugging me for more stories—“

“I don’t appreciate the word “bugging”” Clint interjects, and Steve can imagine the eye-roll that Nat is hiding.

“It was more “showing interest” than anything else,” Clint continues, looking at Steve imploringly, “ ’cos you know if you didn´t have me, you’d have to keep all those bomb-ass stories of saving the world to yourself, which would be a shame. Now you-“ he points at Steve, “you could cope with that, 'cos you still act all bashful like it was nothing for you to scale Mount Logan without any ropes or oxygen, or how you sucker-punched Baron Zemo so hard he flew through the wall and left a Zemo-sized hole. But him…“ and his finger swivels towards Bucky, who looks suspiciously like he’s biting back laughter. “You know Bucky,” he continues, “he’s just dying to regale us all with tales of what kind of shit you guys got up to. And ‘cos I’m actually a real good team-player, thank you very much, I’m volunteering myself to be at the receiving end of his burning desire to share his stories. You’re all very welcome.”

Clint huffs and leans back, resting his head against Natasha’s body. Bucky scrubs a hand over his face, but Steve can tell he’s just hiding his amusement, so he picks his coffee up and makes his way over to the sofa.

“Hey Clint,” Steve starts, “did Buck ever tell you about that time he wrestled a bear in a Russian gulag?” Bucky grins widely, lifting his head slightly to allow Steve to sit down, before wiggling his way further up the couch to rest his head in Steve’s lap.

Clint frowns before he throws his hands up in exasperation. “I heard that one,” he says, “and I know he did it shirtless and won, and that I get. A bear isn’t that hard to bring down, is it? So Barnes fighting a bear while shirtless is something that I can just about wrap my head around. And I know there´s some crazy shit out there, but I refuse to believe you two ever had to face up against something as fucking insane as Nazi dinosaurs.”

Steve takes a sip to hide his smile, stretching an arm over to rest it lightly against Bucky’s side, and Bucky smiles up at him.

“So,” Steve starts, quirking an eyebrow slightly at Bucky, before glancing back at Clint, “Buck mentioned the dinosaurs, eh? You realize it’s actually all classified information, don’t you? Could be one of the reasons no one ever heard of it. Though SHIELD had files upon files about that particular mission, and don’t remind me of all the paperwork I had to fill out ‘cos Buck here decided he had to try to ride one of them, and ended up on the ground with multiple fractures in both arms an—“

Bucky reaches up and taps Steve on the side of head, interrupting him. “Only one fractured arm, actually. I just knew I’d get in trouble and didn’t want to face the mission reports I’d have to fill out, so I faked it.” Steve gapes down for a moment, before his mouth pulls down and he emits a sigh, swatting at Bucky’s arm. “Now you mention it,” he smiles wryly, “that does sound rather more likely.”

Bucky just nods, murmuring assent in the back of his throat before he grins widely. “I mean,” he says, “like hell I was going to pass up trying to hitch a ride on those huge-ass pterodactyls! Not my fault that bastard veered to the left when you appeared.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve mumbles fondly, before glancing back at Clint and raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“I refuse to believe it,” Clint says, adamant. “There is no way that Barnes flew on a Nazi dinosaur.”

“Well,” Steve grins, “tried being the operative word. I don’t think he even managed to stay up on that thing longer than a few seconds.”

“I had it under control,” Bucky interjects, glaring at Steve, “like I said: if you hadn’t appeared out of nowhere and spooked it, I would have been the first person to fly on a dinosaur.”  
“Yeah!” Clint interjects, sitting back up, “d´you wanna know why you’d be the first person to fly on a dinosaur? It’s 'cos dinosaurs and humans never existed at the same time! It doesn’t make sense!”

“Buck,” Steve says, “you do remember the mission brief was to neutralize them, not pretend to be at a rodeo?”

“You’re a Punk,” Bucky says, grinning as Steve retorts with a soft “Jerk.” They smile at each other for a moment before Bucky turns his head to look at Clint.

“So you’re telling me you have no problem with things like gods wielding magic, aliens, doombots and other robots, people with superpowers and, yeah, more aliens, but you’re somehow gonna draw the line at dinosaurs resurrected by the Nazis? You know how paleontologists are digging up all those dinosaur fossils in Germany? Who d’you think found the fossils first? I mean, I’m hurt, Clint! You should know better than to doubt us- I mean, you think the plot to Jurassic park was just made up? Nah, pal, they got the idea of replicating DNA and resurrection and all that from somewhere. I mean, I know Hollywood scriptwriters have imagination, but damn, that film was definitely based on those bastards we came up against…”

He shifts his head back to look at Steve, eyes crinkling with mirth and when Steve glances over at Hawkeye, it is to see the other man staring into space, looking like his entire world has just come crashing down. The silence stretches, and Bucky closes his eyes, still smiling. Steve leans back against the sofa, carding his fingers through Bucky’s hair and keeping one eye on Clint who still looks shell-shocked.

As he raises his coffee to his lips, Clint stirs, blinking once or twice, before he whispers: “I fucking knew it.”

Steve chokes on his coffee with laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> total crack thing that my pal kate encouraged me to write.
> 
> obviously, disclaimer is that i own neither the characters nor the story they come from. 
> 
> Bucky actually did fight a bear while shirtless, and yep, he won, so though that sounds like the most ludicrous thing, it's not. Not sure about the Baron Zemo thing (i'm sure someone at some time punched him pretty hard) and the Mount Logan thing is made up by me (though i'm also sure it's someone from the marvel universe would do at some point, just for fun)
> 
> post!Winter Soldier fic, when Bucky joins the Avengers and it's two americans (namely, clint and steve) with their sometime-russian super spy partners.
> 
>  
> 
> (first thing i've published here, whaddup) (come say hi on tumblr- same url as my pseud)


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